I Have Some Issues About Jean-Luc Picard’s New Replicator


Jean-Luc Picard (right) sips on a cup of decaf earl grey tea at his home, Chateau Picard, in La Barre, France.

Picard takes a tea break.
Screenshot: Paramount+

Jean-Luc Picard enjoys the finer issues in life as an enlightened man of the twenty fourth century. A little bit flute music. A little bit tea that tastes like cleaning soap. Some good wine. He’s allowed an indulgence in any case he’s been by means of. However I’m… involved at a few of his new meal choices coming into Star Trek: Picard season 2.

As we await Patrick Stewart’s return for spherical two in Star Trek: Picard, showrunner Terry Matalas has been sharing cryptic on-set photos from filming on social media. No large reveals in sight, however a current snap of an LCARS menu for what Matalas calls ‘Picard’s Replicator’, particularly, has been unable to depart my head for the previous few days. Regardless of Matalas saying it’s Picard’s replicator, that is presumably the replicator aboard La Sirena, as a result of a number of objects match for meals objects talked about aboard the ship in season one. However the place this replicator is isn’t any of my concern. It’s what’s on that menu.

It’s an eclectic combine—in fact, a starship’s replicator can recreate hundreds of thousands of things of foods and drinks from the cultures of the Federation, so that is clearly not the tip sum of every thing in its digitized kitchen. However all of the choices right here, presumably from a listing of recently-replicated objects, at the very least converse to somebody like Picard’s well-to-do French upbringing. There’s a number of filets of recent fish, diced tomatoes and some fingerlings, the power to simply replicate three complete cloves of garlic (presumably Jean-Luc Picard subscribes to the common principle as there by no means being such a factor as an excessive amount of garlic for a dish). The peppermint ice cream is a pleasant little contact, one thing candy and indulgent however not too indulgent, particularly for somebody as reserved as Picard—he can go away the sundaes to Deanna.

However then there’s the French Fries. Fries are a staple of Starfleet replicators—we see Quantity One order some along with her burger in Star Trek: Discovery season two, and even earlier than replicators have been commonplace expertise aboard ships, the Enterprise’s galley served meals with fries as a aspect. For those who take a better have a look at the entry on Picard’s replicator nevertheless, you see {that a} serving of fries provides you 400 grams of fried potato. Jean-Luc, my buddy, I do know you simply acquired that robotic physique and wish to check it out, however that’s too many fries for a person in his nineties! That’s twice the quantity of fingerling potatoes you’d get requesting from this replicator. You’d get as many diced tomatoes, a considerably more healthy possibility.

Or is it? We’ve identified from previous asides in Star Trek that replicators, or at the very least particularly Starfleet replicators, have modified dietary content material in order that whereas crewmembers can order what would usually be seen as unhealthy meals, they’re nonetheless comparatively nutritionally balanced for bodily match individuals aboard navy and scientific exploration vessels. Deanna maligned that her aforementioned replicated sundaes by no means fairly hit the identical as an actual one aboard the Enterprise-D, as a result of the replicator modified them for dietary worth. In Picard’s first season, Physician Jurati tried to induce vomiting to eject a Romulan tracker by consuming two slices of cake the scale of her head from La Sirena’s replicator, hoping the sugar and fats would do the job—however even when they weren’t as unhealthy as the actual factor, two slices of cake that large would get anybody feeling queasy afterwards regardless. So practically a pound of french fries might be not going to do Picard too good, even when they’re not ‘actual’ fries.

Clearly, all my immersion going into Star Trek: Picard season two has been basically compromised by this grievous error on the a part of Matalas, ViacomCBS, Alex Kurtzman, and plenty of set designers and artists. How can I take pleasure in Picard and Q if I simply know a ginormous pile of replicated fries is awaiting Picard when he’s executed? I’m prepared to droop disbelief for lots of issues in Star Trekfloating area heads, theoretical FTL journey turning you right into a sexy lizard, which you could educate a Ferengi the idea of bunting. However this dietary nightmare for a Trek legend is only a step too far, and I can’t wait to be livid as to how Star Trek: Picard season two grapples with this horrible mistake, as a result of there virtually actually gained’t be something extra vital to cope with.

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