The best burns Twitter’s authorized professionals deployed to deny Elon Musk’s claims

So I don’t know solely what’s in Elon Musk’s counterclaims in opposition to Twitter — they’re silent beneath seal — however I did secure an inkling these days, when Twitter dropped its response. It’s tantalizing! In place of let Musk secure his complaints out first, Twitter went ahead and launched a blow-by-blow response, the higher with which to dunk on Elon alongside the vogue.

I designate deal with this:

The Counterclaims are a made-for-litigation fable that’s contradicted by the proof and whole sense

Usually applicable paperwork maintain arcane, passive-aggressive digs on the considerably just some get together in them. Twitter’s authorized professionals, nonetheless, got here out swinging of their acknowledge to Musk’s counterclaims. Possibly that’s consequently of they understand what number of folks will be taught these paperwork; probably it’s merely consequently of they’re interpersonally point out.

We picked our well-liked passages inside the varieties, and are showcasing them proper right here for anyone who might perchance even be .

So moreover, you’ll snatch that Musk’s putative clarification for bailing on Twitter was once due to the Twitter’s “faux and deceptive statements.” These statements need to designate with practice mail and bot accounts, and had been half of what Musk’s authorized professionals dropped at endure all around the listening to that established an October trial date.

Twitter unexpectedly walks the court docket docket by way of its route of, its varieties, and its disclosure statements in outdated SEC filings. “Musk would not identify any faux or deceptive assertion of reality on this disclosure,” Twitter notes. So the place are his queer numbers coming from? Efficiently, they don’t know, consequently of:

Musk is not very any longer measuring the an identical factor as Twitter and even the train of the an identical information as Twitter.

Twitter goes on to point Musk is intentionally distorting these numbers to “save waves.” After which it says, “Who’s the bot now, scorching stuff?”

Musk’s “preliminary educated estimates” are nothing larger than the output of working the nasty information by way of a generic internet instrument. … Confirming the unreliability of Musk’s conclusion, he will depend on an internet utility referred to as the “Botometer”— which applies considerably just some requirements than Twitter does and which earlier this One yr designated Musk himself as extremely extra prone to be a bot.

I’ll’t signal considerably how amusing I secure this? Musk’s fancy, secret, “proprietary” analysis of Twitter information was once a internet discipline referred to as Botometer.

That is, for my cash, the funniest half of the chronicle. Listed proper listed below are some points Twitter is prepared to confess are precise:

Twitter admits that Musk is a Twitter consumer and has based a number of firms.

Twitter admits that its enterprise is complicated.

Twitter admits that Musk is a Twitter consumer and has over 100 million followers

Twitter admits that it detects and can eliminate practice mail from its platform

However “Twitter in any other case lacks recordsdata or information ample to designate a notion” as as to if Musk believes in free speech and starting debate, whether or not he appreciates Twitter as a city corridor, or that Twitter was once a pure alternative for him to make investments in. Later, Twitter admits that “Musk Tweets time and again.” It does so as soon as in these phrases and as soon as like this:

Twitter admits that Musk actively makes use of Twitter and that many folks think about that starting discourse is obligatory to a functioning democracy.

Does Twitter think about starting discourse is obligatory to a functioning democracy? Dunno, however they may be capable to’t designate beliefs on whether or not, to Musk, “eradicating free speech is a treatment worse than the illness.”

Twitter admits that it did not current the main points inside the April 28, 2022 press open to the Musk Occasions ahead of the Merger Settlement was once signed and ahead of the occasions had a non-disclosure settlement in enlighten.

Sorry, this might perchance even be the low-key funniest of “Twitter admits,” which is: yeah, we didn’t give him the press open besides he signed the NDA. Now, proper right here is in accordance to Musk complaining that he didn’t secure a heads’ up when Twitter launched it miscounted its day after day full of life customers for a number of years. Nevertheless it does appear considerably impartial applicable to me now not to narrate one factor to folks with sturdy Twitter habits and heart-broken impulse succor an eye fixed on besides they’ve signed NDAs.

And even it’s this one. Musk’s authorized professionals wrote that consequently of Musk perception due diligence was once “expensive and inefficent,” so he didn’t designate it.

Twitter avers that the Musk Occasions declined to undertake any due diligence ahead of signing the Merger Settlement.

Man, I point out, often it merely stings when your opponent concurs with you, huh?

Twitter admits that on July 8, 2022 Defendants speculated to finish the Merger Settlement, that Twitter due to the this reality filed litigation looking for converse effectivity of the Merger Settlement, and that Defendants maintain filed counterclaims.

Oh sure, precise, Twitter admits this case exists.

Okay, so remember the need-he-or-won’t-he dance about Musk becoming a member of the board? Twitter does!

Musk modified his thoughts about becoming a member of Twitter’s board (after first negotiating an present to enroll inside the board, accepting it in writing, and Tweeting that he was once “having a see ahead” to taking the predicament), notified Mr. Agrawal of the an identical, and moreover notified Mr. Agrawal of his intent to keep away from losing an present to carry interplay Twitter.

As a result of Musk didn’t identify any faux or deceptive statements Twitter made, Twitter has gotten snitty about his withdrawal from the acquisition:

Musk merely now invented this contemporary pretext for avoiding the merger settlement, as these supposed inaccuracies are nowhere talked about in his July 8 letter to Twitter explaining the bases for his purported termination of the merger settlement, nor in any considerably just some dialog with Twitter since signing the merger settlement. In any match, Twitter by no attain made the disclosures he now asserts are faux.

In Musk’s declare, his authorized professionals write that “Twitter’s foremost enterprise is working a microblogging social media community the place customers half 280 persona messages referred to as ‘tweets.’” Twitter denies this, hilariously.

[Twitter’s] foremost product, Twitter, is a world platform for exact-time self-expression and dialog, together with inside the designate of Tweets. Twitter further avers that Tweets maintain a most size of 280 characters.

I ponder what “social community” and “microblogging” point out to Twitter’s authorized professionals?

I don’t deem this one wants extra context, actually. I’m merely deal stunned now not to stare an precise emoji inside the submitting:

On Could perchance 16, 2022, Mr. Musk publicly spoke again to that Tweet Thread with a poop emoji.